What would we do if we were girls for a week?

Brad Pitt.

....seriously. And any other guy out there who says differently is a liar. If they got their hands on a batch of polyjuice potion that allowed for a week's worth of feminine fun they would not rest until Brad was in the bag. Obviously this entire concept is grounded in reason and realism. Regardless, once we are our sultry, sensational, sexy female selves we will immediately hop on a plane to Los Angeles and make our way to Brangelina. Since there is no way Angie doesn't swing both ways (the chick is crazy) and as women we probably would have a better chance with her than as men (our game is almost that good but not quite), we will be including her in our...adventures. We would rely on Rob's ethnic charms and the fact that men are already attracted to Addy as he is. Now just add boobs and......well the story obviously ends with things getting hot and heavy. Rob winds up with a bunch of scratches down his back and a portion of his ear missing. Was it Brad, Angie, or Addy? It is hard to say given how things got so mixed up and all but i guess we'll give Rob the benefit of the doubt...

Once Brangelina kicks us out the next morning without giving us a phone number or cooking us breakfast, we will proceed directly to the nearest bar. It may be ten in the morning but we will start early on the main activity on the agenda of the next couple days...convincing guys we are interested in them so they buy us drinks, after which we will never speak to them again because really now...they aren't Brad Pitt. Plus guys are complete tools and they deserve it. Women Are Equal Members of Our Society!!! ...or something like that. Anyways, those drinks we ordered would clearly be appletini's, heavy on the apple, since there is no better opportunity to honor Doctor John Dorien (and they are delicious). During this period we will be wearing as much pink and purple as possible (including ribbons for our hair) because this will be the one week when our sexual orientation isn't questioned no matter what colors we wear. Our wardrobe will include skirts because we find the breeze and complete freedom very refreshing and aren't nearly cool enough to walk around our campuses in kilts. If only we knew how to play the bagpipes...

This will bring us to the the last couple days of our week. We will spend most of this time taking advantage of the fairer sex...not in that way you dirty dirty readers...but in the sporting arena. We will try out for the L.A. Sparks of the WNBA and make the team easily because everyone knows women can't play basketball. While there we will find kindred spirits in Candace Parker and Lisa Leslie, both of whom, despite their looks, clearly are men as well given their aptitude on the basketball court and their dunking ability. Addy will record 27 points, 21 assists, and 8 steals in that weekend's game while Rob will post a line of 12 points, 26 rebounds, and a WNBA-record of 16 blocked shots. (insert lanky joke here). We will not be satisfied dominating only one group of female athletes during our foray into the world of women's sports so we will also plan a doubles match with the Williams sisters. This will represent more of a challenge than the WNBA because women's tennis is almost a real sport and the Williams sisters are almost men. Still, all of the Williams sisters' grunting does not help them. And to compound their woes they lose to us in the match afterwards in straight sets...

Please don't take offense to any of this. Rob even believes women should have equal rights with men and that enfranchising them a hundred years ago was a good idea. And everyone knows to ignore Addy in the first place...

Until Next Time,
Rohita and...well...Addy