USA-Greece

Thoughts I Think I Thought During the USA-Greece Men's Basketball Preliminary Game

Why did I wake up at eight in the morning to watch this?

Sofoklis Schortsanitis is a large man. He is a center for the Greek team and comes in at 6'10 and 345 pounds. And probably is pushing 400 in reality...little too much olive oil for Sofoklis. And maybe a little too much sun, too. He seems to have more than the usual Mediterranean tan.

The United States team is a fantastic collection of talent but falls short of the star power of the original Dream Team in 1992. However, replace Chris Bosh, Carlos Boozer, and Tayshaun Prince with Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, and Amare Stoudemire and that may be the greatest team ever assembled considering Bird and Magic were tailing off at the end of their careers in 1992. Of course the 2008 team's defense is untested thus far against quality NBA talent, and if I remember correctly they would have to deal with some guy named Jordan on the 1992 team. Oh, and this guy will surely create terrible match-up problems.

Dwyane Wade has been one of the two best players for the United States (with Lebron). He is the most explosive player on the floor and flying all over the place. 'The Flash' might be more than a nickname now. Did he bathe in charged chemicals as part of the rehab from his shoulder injury? There should probably be an investigation. Because if this theory is not disproved I might take my chances and break into the NIST laboratory to try to get me some of that superspeed.

I think I could be the Takeru Kobayashi of professional Gatorade drinking. I have downed three bottles already this morning. I can feel my teeth rotting as I type this up. But I have such dedication I believe I may even be able to do Kobayashi one better and drink more Gatorade than a bear. Please notice the flag that the bear is competing under. Take that Japan! You can keep your zits, kimonos, and crazy anime. We will maintain our superiority with our army of trained American bears! Also our nuclear bombs. Yeah...

Chris Bosh wants his spot back in my imaginary Dream Team. He has displayed quick feet, great finishing around the rim, excellent pick and roll defense, and even recorded a steal when matched up against a Greek guard. He must feel bad that the quality of his basketball game has been lagging so far behind that of his YouTube videos. I'm fairly certain Chris would be happier if he was enrolled in film school. Unfortunately he wound up 6'10 with fantastic athleticism and a great jump shot. And that is a sentence you will never see written ever again...

Carmelo Anthony just got blocked by the rim. I never get blocked by the rim. Sure that might be due to the fact that I play my game far, far below the rim, but from this play I think we can all safely assume I am a more athletic player than Melo.

The U.S.A. finished off the game strong and won by more than twenty points. The defense was extremely impressive and proved far more effective than that of the Death Star's. Kobe would make a great Darth Vader but I guess Luke Skywalker is a bit more badass than Vasileios Spanoulis...obviously the comparison is not lightsaberproof. I'll work on it though. Until next time...

Han Solo